Finding Our Voice

Finding Our Voice
This is a very rough draft but I wanted to make a beginning when this poem began to speak. It will need a lot more work.

Finding Our Voice

Like thousands of leaves
on a tree
no two alike,
we flutter in the
winds of the world.

Yet how early
we lose our voice,
forget who we are.

 Other voices
form us.
Tell us who we are.
Soft whispers of kindness
Sometimes the cutting
indifference of silence
or the searing scorn of
"You will never be
enough."

But do we go into
the dying of Autumn?
The voices turning
red, gold and the dead
brown
of so many leaves
falling to the ground.

Leaving us standing
naked,
Winter's stark tree,
against an empty sky.

Do we look deep within
the living core
 down
past the roots
where our own voice
in darkness
waits to speak?

Bummed over ASU's loss last night. Seems after all the hype that they have a ways to go as a team to stay ranked.
Watching the Cards play the Redskins this afternoon and also the final round of the BMW at Cog's Hill in Chicago. Delighted to see Phil Mickelson in full ASU colors at the ASU game last night. He had no more to smile about than the state of his golf game of late.
Still fighting the virus I have had for three weeks. Some days feeling pretty good, some dreadful. I am doing a liquid diet today to give the intestinal tract a rest.
Busy week coming up. Ralph over on Monday to see what he can do about repairs to my T-Bird.
Phil and Marth to work on Tuesday. Blood lab at one. Stop at Walgreen's for a bunch of birthday cards. Christy over in the evening to watch the series opener of NCIS with me. Wednesday free.
Thursday Phil comes to work again. Friday Shauna will come to meet with Danny and I. We may have lunch. Possible movie that evening with Dorothy. Saturday brunch with Ame at Arcadia and Sunday brunch at the Biltmore with the Keenan's and the Mike Welty's to celebrate the birthdays of Joe and Jim. Where is my hermit life????

Ode to Rilke (and the poets who go Deep)

I have been moved to reread Robert Bly's translation from the German of a selection of Rilke's poems.
I will write more about that later. Today is a busy chore day and includes both golf and football. But I was inspired to do a first draft of a poem and want to get it down while I can still hear it's voice.


Ode to Rilke (and the poets who go Deep)

I want to thank the poets
whose soft-seeming words
become hammers of steel,
iron feathers of fierce grace,
tools to wake me up.

But I sit like a bird
in the golden cage
of my twenty-four seven life.
Gazing with yearning
at the open door,
afraid to fly.

I feel the agony
of being torn
between the safety
of the known
and the roaring desire
to shed Rilke's "husk"
to lie down at Adya's words
"Rest and be taken."

More on Rilke and Bly after chores, golf and football.

Just Feeling Newsy

I have been missing Jen's blog and have been saying to myself "Wow! Jen has not blogged in over a week!" That brought me up short pretty quickly as I realized that I had not blogged in over a week myself.
I don't have anything in particular in mind to write about so will just report the news i.e. share what is happening in my life and the lives of those I love.
Marth worked a Wed. for my yesterday as Christy did not need her. She stayed over night and we had a very pleasant evening. I had energy and made dinner for the two of us. We had tilapia with lemon, green beans with almonds and buttered corn. Later while watching Just Desserts we had health cookies for our dessert. She played some Farmville while I did the dishes and did all my pre-bed preparations and then we both climbed into my bed and read. She is on the second book of The Song of Ice and Fire. I am reading Neon Rain, a James Lee Burke that is not a Dave Robichaux. We are very harmon-ious and experienced our time together as very loving.
My friend Phil and his wife Joan were fortunate enough to be able to go on vacation this past week. Joan's sister has a time share in Sante Fe, a very favorite place of theirs. They have been taking walks, doing the museums and enjoying fantastic weather. Phil has called a couple of times to check up on me and share what they are doing. He is such a loving friend. I am so blessed.
Their time there brought NM to mind and I found myself looking up The Lama Foundation website.
For anyone interested just Google The Lama Foundation NM and you will see it. As I looked at it I noticed that they had hermitages. So I looked them up. Again if you, reader, are curious hit "hermitages" and you will see the one I am drawn to. It is the Maqbara (I may have the spelling wrong)
but it is high above the compound of buildings that comprise the Foundation. This is a community dedicated to the promotion of conciousness and the care of the earth. People of all ages and from any or no spiritual persuasion are welcome. I visited there for a day some 18 or so years ago and was very caught up in it. From where it is situated (8600 ft. above sea level) you can see 100 miles and row after row of mountains in all hues of gray and purple. The stay in the hermitage is usually 2 weeks but one could do a month. It is a wilderness experience. The building is tiny, made of wood and round. It has a huge window overlooking the 100 mile view. There is a propane stove for cooking but no electricity or running water. One uses lanterns and candles. Food and water in jugs are delivered to the resident hermit. There is an outhouse nearby and also bears, deer, mountain lions, snakes, rats and other creatures. I am going to investigate whether medically I can do such a thing. It would be my idea of paradise - two weeks of silence, simplicity and vastness while being a great adventure. The altitude could be the deal breaker with my health but I will ask my doctors and see what is possible.
I am going to see Danny's daughter Shauna tomorrow morning at eleven. This promises to be a very exciting and possibly emotional experience, to see once again a granddaughter who I thought some 42 years ago to be lost to me forever.
Sara surprised us the other day with the news that she is moving again on the first of Oct. She found a much bigger place in a nicer neighborhood just 4 blocks East of where she is now.  She is looking for extra furniture to fill it up. I am giving her my two blue and red striped silk chairs and Marth may offer her sleigh bed. Sara is very pleased to be doing another good thing for herself.
Jen is in London as those of you on FB know. Jen, please come back to the land of Blog!!!
Those of you who have read Susan Dunlap will be interested in the fact that she is  now my friend on FB. We have had an exchange. I plan to ask if she has a new book in the works. For those of you who don't know about her she is a very good detective story writer. Brings a lot of intelligence to her writing. I met her during my Zen days in San Diego.
I did some more work on what I call the God book today. This is the book I am working on to respond to Kate's request that I talk to Abby and Zoey about God. I had most of it done but then decided to give it a rewrite. I have found a publisher in England that in interested in books about non-duality. Since there are almost none to be found on the net ( I found only one) it is not exactly a crowded market.
Time to get some work done as the afternoon is slipping by. Have laundry to do and my bed to make up fresh (always love that feeling of climbing into fresh sheets).
Some favorite shows tonight in Project Runway and Doc Martin. Then happily to bed to crossword and read Neon Rain.
I am delighted that football is back and plan to watch the ASU/MO game Friday night. And I will also watch the AZ Cards on Sunday afternoon.
Saturday night Marth, Sara and I plan to see The Debt at Fashion Square.
Nice weekend coming up.
 Hope you are all having some happiness today.